


Take This Sinking Ship

by thesoundofnat



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Crossover, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony doesn't deserve this I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:52:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13939083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: Tony wakes up in the 23rd century staring at the faces of Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy. Star Trek/Marvel crossover.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [insane-sociopath](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=insane-sociopath).



> So my friend Eddy (insane-sociopath over on tumblr and on here) prompted this a while ago, and I decided I could explore it better as a series. I already have part 2 and some of part 3 done, so I really really hope you'll like it! 
> 
> Warnings: death mention, mention of past alcohol abuse, anxiety attacks in later chapters

Tony felt like he’d been simultaneously knocked out and gotten absolutely no sleep at all in the past ten or so years, so to say that he was confused when he opened his eyes to find himself in a very strange hospital room would be an understatement. “Wha-”

“Hey, hey, take it easy.”

Tony didn’t need to be told twice. His head pounding and his vision blurring, he allowed the hands to gently push him down the bed again. A beeping sound could be heard, but he couldn’t figure out what it meant.

“Try to not move too quickly.”

“Where am I?”

A beat that didn’t go unnoticed to Tony. “You’re in a medical department.”

No shit. “I mean,  _where_ am I? Like, what state?” He was slurring his words, but was certain he’d made himself understood.

Yet the voice still hesitated. “I think it’s better that we leave out the details until you’ve made more recovery. I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

Tony blinked, once, twice, a few more times, and there the man was, dressed like a doctor, but also… not. The light blue clothing gave off a medical vibe, but they were nothing like Tony had ever seen before. And then it hit him.

“I’m not in America anymore, am I.” It wasn’t even a question.

The doctor licked his lips. “Not exactly.”

“Oh lordy. How did I end up in a different  _country_?”

“Let’s talk about it-”

“Later. Got it. Can I at least ask what happened?”

“We’re not entirely sure.”

They were interrupted by a - mechanical? - door sliding open, revealing a man in a strangely flattering yellow shirt. Tony wasn’t sure how he could tell, but he looked important.

“Oh, good. You’re awake.”

“As far as I’m aware.”

The man paused before the bed, lips quirking upward in a surprised grin. “I take that reply as a good sign. Bones?”

“All intact, I think.”

“No, no, I mean- he’s Bones. Well-”

“Doctor Leonard McCoy,” the doctor introduced himself, side eyeing Yellow Shirt.

“I call him Bones.”

Tony hummed. “I give people nicknames too, and yours is kinda funny considering his profession.”

Yellow Shirt shot the doctor - Bones - a bright grin. “See?”

Bones rolled his eyes. “James T. Kirk, in all his glory.”

“Jim.” Jim reached out and Tony shook his hand. It was only a little awkward to be lying down during the greeting. “I’d ask for your name, but we don’t want-”

“To overwhelm me.”

“Right.”

“It’s Tony. Tony Stark.”

He waited for his words to set it and for them to gape at him in realization (seriously, he must be looking dreadful if they hadn’t recognized him up until this point), but all he got was frowns.

“That name sounds familiar,” Jim said. “I cannot put my finger on it.”

That… was new. And humiliating.

And kind of refreshing.

Tony shook his head and promptly stopped when it made him dizzy. “Ow.”

Bones was quickly by his side. “Are you in pain?”

“Pain is the wrong word for it. I feel sore all over, but I wouldn’t call it pain.”

“Let me fix that.”

“How?”

“Just trust me.”

Tony wasn’t sure he did, but he reckoned he had no choice. “All right, but I’m not taking any weird drugs unless you identify them and list off every single side effect.”

“You won’t be getting any drugs. Well, not the type you’re expecting.”

“Then how- what the hell is that?!”

A  _thing_ that looked like an overgrown needle of some sort was now in Bones’ hand, coming toward him slowly but still too quickly for Tony’s taste. They were gonna experiment on him, those bastards.

“Get that thing away from me.”

“It’s going to help.”

“Get it the  _fuck_ away from me!”

The steady beeping from before was quickening, and Tony realized it was his heartbeat. He tried to sit up again as panic filled him, but it proved to be harder with two people holding him down now. If he pulled his arm out of Jim’s grip he’d only be thrusted into Bones and vice versa, and Tony cursed them both until the sun and beyond.

“Please calm down,” Bones was saying rather calmly, the needle still in his hand. The clear liquid still close to Tony’s skin.

Another Afghanistan, and everything that came after that.

“Bones, tell him what it is!” Jim yelled from Tony’s other side, pressing Tony’s shoulder down against the bed. Tony was losing his strength.

“It’s for relief. To stop you from aching.”

“I’m not gonna let you stick a fucking needle into my arm!”

“It’s not a needle. We don’t use needles here. Please just let me help you.”

Tony finally stopped struggling and fell down against the mattress, feeling weak and close to tears. A side effect of the adrenaline leaving his body. The beeping started slowing down.

“This is what we use to transfer liquids into patients’ bodies. It’s a medical device called a hypospray.”

“Why have I never heard about it before?” Tony’s voice was hoarse.

Bones licked his lips. “I don’t think they used it where you’re from.”

“Used?”

“We have a theory,” Bones started.

“And we’re pretty certain it’s true,” Jim added.

“Why should I believe anything you say?”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t,” Jim said. “But every single word we’ve said up until this point is true.”

“And yet you failed to explain the hypo-whatever you were about to use on me.”

Bones held it out. “You can look at it, if you want. I don’t need to use it unless you give me permission.”

Tony grabbed it to examine it. “You say you don’t use a needle.”

“We don’t.”

“So you use a noninvasive transfer mechanism of oppressed air in order to transfer the liquids.”

Bones blinked at him. “Yes. How-”

“I know things. Or in this case, I see them.” Tony wanted to pull the device apart, but didn’t think any of them would appreciate him spilling its contents all over the bed, so he handed it back. “Give me an empty one.”

“I could just explain-”

“No. Empty one.”

He opened up the empty one to see how it worked, getting more and more impressed by the minute. “You use this to transfer the liquid into the artery without puncturing the skin. Scientists have been talking about ways to do this for years. Having a way to inject something without risking an infection could literally save millions.” He looked up at Bones. “How the hell did you guys manage to do this?”

Bones looked uncomfortable, of all things. “We’ve had great teams throughout the years.”

“Why haven’t you announced this? Do you know how many countries need this?”

“Well-”

“Don’t tell me it’s a work in progress that you were going to try out on me.”

“No, no. It’s very much tested.”

“I promise it’s safe,” Jim said. Tony had almost forgotten he was here. “Now please just- let us use it on you? You’ll feel better instantly.”

Tony didn’t trust them, but he trusted the technology, so he leaned back and extended his arm toward Bones. “I want to hear your theories afterward.”

Bones ignored the hand and went for his neck, pausing to see if Tony would protest before transferring the liquid into his skin. It hurt more than Tony had thought, and he found himself recoiling from the hypospray in alarm. “Hey-”

“Just give it a minute.”

His body stopped aching only seconds later.

“You guys have to announce this to the world,” he repeated. “It could-”

“Save millions. And it has.”

Tony frowned at Bones. “It has? How was I not aware of that?”

“You’ve been… well, not entirely present for quite a while from what we can tell.”

Tony turned to Jim for some sort of clarification. “What does he mean?”

Jim wasn’t looking him straight in the eyes. “Our theory, Mr Stark, is that you’ve been asleep - or more like preserved - in cryo for the past few decades.”

Tony blinked. “Decades.”

“Or centuries.”

“Centuries.”

“We’re not entirely sure when you originally got frozen, but our guess is that it’s been at least 200 years.”

Jim was speaking slowly, pronouncing every word carefully. No one in the room moved.

And then the beeping quickened its pace.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony deals with finding out that he’s woken up in the 23rd century by seeking out Jim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: death mention, mention of past alcohol abuse, anxiety attacks

Tony had been on the Enterprise for two days before Bones allowed him to leave Medbay. The shock had left both his body and mind in shambles, and he’d been ordered to rest rest rest while they tried to find someone he could talk to. A futuristic therapist. If Tony wasn’t so devastated he might’ve found it funny.

“Rhodey is dead,” was the first thing he’d said once the bomb had been dropped. “He’s been dead for more than two centuries.”

Bones and Jim had obviously not known what to say to that, so Tony had decided to fill the silence himself.

“Pepper is dead. Steve is dead. Happy, Peter, Romanoff, Barton. Hell, maybe even Thor is dead.” He hadn’t continued rambling up names after that, because he could say the name of literally any person he’d ever met and they would for certain be dead, so he’d seen no point in it.

Bones had given him a calming liquid using the hypospray after that, and he’d fallen asleep not long after.

They had given him a room until they could figure out what the hell to do with him, and Tony had locked himself in there without a word. They had left him alone and left food at his door like a prisoner, and hadn’t forced him to come out until now.

“Come on, I think it will do you good,” Jim - the freaking  _captain_ of the starship - said from behind the door. Tony was glaring a hole in it, but he reckoned it was of little effect if Jim couldn’t see it.

“Will people gape at me like some sort of prehistoric animal?”

“I’ll make sure they won’t.”

But the fleeting looks and overly bright smiles were almost worse, but Tony couldn’t say he hadn’t been curious about the rest of the ship and its residents. This was a tech nerd’s wet dream, after all. Only now he wasn’t sure if the dream had been worth it.

“This is the Bridge crew,” Jim was saying as they entered the, well, Bridge. “This is where we steer the ship and take calls and all that good stuff.” Tony still had a hard time believing Jim Kirk was the one to steer this ship. “This is Uhura, Sulu, Chekov.”

Tony shook the hands of everyone he was introduced to, happy to see that at least one thing remained the same. Spock, a Vulcan apparently, was watching him way more intently than what would be considered normal, and Tony asked Jim about it once they’d left the Bridge.

“He’s like that. Don’t pay him any mind.”

But they would soon find out why he’d been the subject of such a thorough examination when Spock informed them both that he’d found Tony’s files and had therefore discovered who he’d once been.

“A superhero who was lost in battle. His body was never found,” Jim was repeating to Bones later that day. “That’s why I recognized the name. You’re something of a legend.”

Tony snorted. “This is some Captain America shit.”

“I’ve heard of him. Realizing who you are has made all kinds of memories return.”

“I never gave him enough credit for how well he’d handled all of this when he was going through it.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Are there any records of other cases like this?”

“A couple. Most of them are failed ones.”

“Failed?”

“Lots of people tried to preserve their bodies when things on Earth started becoming rocky and science was evolving. They wanted to be alive to see what would happen with the world.”

“We had originally thought you were one of the few successful cases,” Bones added. “But we figured out quickly that you had no idea what had happened.”

Tony remembered slightly more than he was telling them, but thinking back on it had thrown him into an anxiety attack the previous night, so he refused to linger on it. Refused to think of how he launched himself into the ocean just like Steve had and jumped out of his suit so that it could explode without his body in it to dampen the impact. He kind of didn’t want to know how that battle had ended for everyone else.

But he also kind of did.

“Tell me about Starfleet,” he said.

Jim leaned closer to him across the table. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

And everything was what he was told.

* * *

 

“You got anything to drink?”

Jim didn’t seem overly surprised at the request, though Tony could tell he hadn’t expected him to seek him out this late in the evening. Tony had memorized few of the places that he’d been shown of the Enterprise, but Jim and Bones’ respective quarters were two of them.

“What you want?”

“What do you guys have in this century?”

“When it comes to hard liquor it’s pretty much the same, from what I can tell. I don’t tend to touch alien booze.”

Jim had a whole cabinet filled with bottles hidden behind a wall. Tony almost wished he could’ve had something like that in his younger days, just for the hell of it. He could imagine Howard yelling at him for the uncreative use of a hiding spot, or Rhodey giving him a disappointed look, or Pepper sighing or Steve frowning. Maybe it was a good thing he’d kept his previous addiction public. At least it wouldn’t surprise anyone.

“I haven’t had a drink in years,” he said as Jim handed him a glass. “Wait. I mean, back in my days. I hadn’t had a drink in at least five years.”

“How come?” Jim asked, pouring himself a glass.

Tony moved the glass in circles, watching the liquid and ice cubes swirl around. “Alcohol hadn’t done me much good in the last- well, ever. But especially the last ten or so years.” He smiled sadly. “I had a tendency to abuse it.”

He could tell Jim regretted giving him that glass now, but he merely pushed it to the middle of the table, leaving a wet trail behind. “You can take it and I wouldn’t put up a fight. I would like to believe I’m not that person anymore.”

Jim didn’t reach for it. “I have a feeling you need it,” he concluded. “At least to help you sleep.”

“How did you know?”

Jim breathed out a laugh. “I’ve seen those eyebags and bloodshot eyes before. Mostly in a mirror.”

Tony hummed and brought the drink to his lips, tasting the fiery sweetness. The burning in his throat was unfamiliar and familiar at the same time.

“I can’t imagine being in your position,” Jim told him. “So I won’t judge if you decide to down this whole bottle by yourself.”

“It’ll be your job to stop me if I do.”

Jim smiled, hugely and brightly. It was enough to make Tony shed another layer of the wall he’d put between himself and this brand new world.

“I’ll do my best,” he said, holding out his glass so that they could toast and drink and drink again.

Tony allowed himself to examine Jim properly now that the booze was working its magic. He was younger than him - obviously - but something in his face told Tony that he’d been through a lot already. He was fit enough to be able to beat Tony in combat, and his eyes were big and blue and so captivating that Tony wouldn’t be surprised if people swooned over him daily. He was like some futuristic Captain America, Tony realized with an ache. Saving the universe with those baby blues and having troubles that no one thought to ever address.

He was handsome.

“What?” Jim asked when Tony had stared for longer than socially accepted.

He shrugged. “I’m more than 200 years older than you. And here I thought Steve and Barnes were old.”

Jim fiddled with his glass. “How old were you when you, uh, disappeared?”

“48. It probably means I’m much closer to 300 than 200, but I don’t want to think about that.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault.” Tony took a sip. His glass was almost empty. “I sometimes wonder if I would’ve prefered to just die. Despite the trauma I can’t help but marvel at what I’m seeing now. Maybe I stayed alive purely for this.” Another sip, but his tongue merely met ice. “You know, Steve had to go to the funeral of his old girlfriend, or whatever they were. My godmother, who was already on her deathbed by the time they found him. I’m not sure if that helped him get closure or if it was just an unnecessary wound they added to his injury.”

Jim listened to him without interrupting. He’d emptied his glass as well.

“I want to ask what happened to them all, after I disappeared.”

“But?”

Tony leaned back in his chair. “But I’m not sure I’ll like the answer.”

“You don’t have to find out.”

“I do. You know I do. Whatever happens next, people are gonna dig out the files and find the year and date of it all and everything’s gonna spread around until it gets back to me. Might as well hear it from you.”

Jim didn’t ask how he knew that his files had been read. “You want to hear it all now?”

“No time like the present.”

“You saved them all, Tony.”

Tony froze, not even daring to breathe as he waited for Jim to continue.

“Thanks to you, the threat was eliminated just before it was about to wipe out your teammates and then take over the world. Your sacrifice stopped it before it could even try.”

Tony exhaled slowly, loudly. “W-what?”

“You saved humanity. We literally wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

Tony had never thought that those words combined with a bit of alcohol would make him burst into tears in the arms of Jim Kirk, but they did, and he barely had any space left to feel ashamed for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://thesoundofnat.tumblr.com/).


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finds the engine room, sees space, and needs to make a decision about where to go from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: a brief panic attack

Tony woke up sweaty and out of breath and absolutely terrified to realize he wasn’t in his own bed. The bed he’d been sleeping in for the past week, though he reckoned this room was similar enough for him to know he was still on the Enterprise. That he was able to think about it so calmly now was worrying. It hadn’t been too long since he used to wake up in the Avengers Tower next to Rhodey or Pepper or Steve. At least not to him.

He was next to Jim now, their bodies nearly touching but now quite. Tony could tell the lights in here were supposed to mimic the sun rising (which was so very clever), and he watched Jim’s curled up form for a moment as the room slowly got brighter and brighter. He remembered the previous night clearly and knew they hadn’t done anything. The booze had simply transformed him into an emotional wreck and Jim had refused to let him go after that.

“I’m not unfamiliar with self destruction,” he’d said as he’d forced Tony into the only bed in the room.

“I’m not kicking you out of your own bed,” Tony had said and that was that.

He was grateful for it all now, though he was definitely debating fleeing before Jim woke up. Waking up next to each other after a one night stand was one thing. Waking up next to each other after an emotional night was a whole other.

Water. He needed water. And a bathroom.

He realized that an emotional hangover differed from a alcohol-induced one, but it still wasn’t pleasant to drag his body and pounding head into what he guessed was the restroom. The cold water against his face helped, and he took a moment to examine his face in the mirror.

He looked the same as he had back then. The lines on his face proof of the life he’d led. His graying hair and beard showing his age. He looked more tired than he had in the 21st century, despite the long sleep. He wondered how the Avengers would’ve reacted had he been found when they were still alive. If he would’ve come out of cryo like Steve had, preserved and confused and not the same at all.

Maybe it was better this way.

He found the little kitchen-like area of Jim’s room, a tap, a mini fridge and a microwave available for what Tony reckoned was quick meals. He knew they all took their meals together - or apart - in a cafeteria, but he would be a fool to think at least the captain wouldn’t be given ways to eat without being in public.

He downed a glass of water and refilled it, sipping it more slowly this time. He wished there was a window he could stare out of, realizing quite suddenly that they were in outer fucking space and that he had yet to look out to see the universe surround them. Placing his glass in the sink, he made a mental note to ask Jim to show it to him.

“Morning.” Jim was standing behind him when Tony turned, arms crossed and a hint of a smile on his lips. “Slept well?”

“I think I had a nightmare. You?”

“I slept all right.”

“I didn’t kick you or anything, did I?”

“Well,” Jim said, dragging out the word. He laughed when Tony winced. “Nah, I’m kidding. At least I didn’t notice.” He took a few steps. “You want coffee?”

“You still have that?”

“We do.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I’ve been suffering.”

Jim laughed again. “Sorry. I’ll rectify that right now.”

Tony grinned in anticipation. “God, I used to live off of that stuff. Day out and day in I’d be locked in my lab building things and downing cup after cup. I guess you could say I had a thing with abusing beverages.”

“Should I second guess my making you some now?”

“If you do I won’t be as calm as I was at the prospect of you taking my booze.”

“Speaking of that. We never finished the bottle.”

“And I don’t think we should.”

Jim nodded. “Whatever you want, Stark.”

“Please. Call me Tony. Especially after last night.” He hated how his face burned at the mention of it.

“Tony,” Jim corrected himself.

He brew the coffee, and Tony was happy to find that it tasted very much like it had in his time. Another thing that had remained the same. He doubted it was thanks to him.

“We can go have breakfast in the cafeteria,” Jim said. “I don’t really have much to choose from here.”

“Haven’t gone grocery shopping, I see.”

“I’ve been kinda busy.” Jim took a sip of his coffee. “You want to shower or something before going?”

“I’ll go use the one in my room. Meet you here in half an hour?”

“Sounds good.”

Tony downed his coffee and left, wondering how he was having such an easy time making trivial plans when he felt like a wreck inside.

He didn’t see much of neither Jim nor Bones that day, as they were both focused on their jobs and Tony didn’t want to interrupt. Instead, he decided to take a walk around the Enterprise on his own, partly to find a window, partly to do something that didn’t include sitting alone in a room trying to fend off anxiety attack after anxiety attack. There surely was something he could do to rid himself of these attacks? He was in the 23rd century, after all.

He didn’t find a window, but he found where all the engineers did their work, and he could barely contain his excitement as he wandered in unnoticed.

* * *

 

“He what?”

Tony wasn’t sure why he felt like a child being scolded, but he was definitely not hiding behind Scotty who was explaining to Jim where he’d spent the past few hours. Scotty was merely standing in front of him.

“Helped me fix the monitor, Captain,” Scotty was saying in that delightful scottish accent of his. “It’s been malfunctioning for days and we haven’t had time to properly focus on it.” Tony couldn’t determine if he sounded happy or simply relieved.

“Huh.” Jim took a step to the side to catch Tony’s eye. “I guess I should’ve known better than to keep Tony Stark away from a lab. Maybe we should do something about it.”

“I still need my job,” Scotty said, and Jim burst into laughter.

“Don’t you worry, Scotty. I have something else in mind.”

“What do you have in mind?” Tony asked as they left Scotty who went back to work.

“I have no idea,” Jim admitted. “I just didn’t want him to worry. But we’ll figure something out. There must be  _something_ for you to do.”

But Tony was terrified there wasn’t. What could he do for a universe that was already so ahead of the time he’d lived and worked in? He was practically a toddler in their eyes.

Or possibly a teen.

“Did it take long to fix the monitor?” Jim asked as they rounded a corner.

“It wasn’t very complicated, but definitely time consuming. I can see why they had been neglecting it.”

“And you fixed it in how long?”

“An hour.”

Jim stopped in his tracks. “An hour.”

“Yeah.”

“Scotty told me it would take at least half a day.”

Once upon a time Tony might’ve grinned smugly and reminded him who he was talking to, but all his confidence seemed to have died with his friends.

“Maybe if you have a hundred other things to focus on,” he said. “I only had that one thing.”

Jim looked like he wanted to say something, but Tony started walking again, promptly forcing him to follow.

“Can I ask you something?”

Jim caught up to him. “Of course.”

“Do you guys have any windows?”

Ten minutes later Jim had dragged him onto the Bridge, a place Tony had been avoiding since his first visit purely because he knew he had no business there. What he had missed the first time was the gigantic window slash screen slash whatever the hell it was that took up the entirety of the wall, which Jim explained worked as both a way to see the areas they were around, and also to communicate with others.

Tony was intrigued, and ignoring the eyes that were on him he walked closer. “It’s like my suit,” he breathed out, mostly to himself. “A bigger version of it.” He watched the literal space from the window, seeing everything he’d spent years watching from Earth. All those stars that were dead now. All that potential.

He turned to Jim, stunned. “We really made it to space, huh?”

Jim just smiled, so warmly and friendly that Tony didn’t know what to do.

He turned back to the window, a sadness in his chest. “I mean, I should’ve guessed that we would when a literal god from space arrived in my living room.” His chest was tightening, until he realized that it wasn’t merely sadness residing in it, but panic.

He was in space.

The same space that almost killed him once.

He fiddled with the neckband of his shirt. “This ship is safe, isn’t it?”

“As safe as it can be.”

Somehow that didn’t calm Tony in the slightest. What should’ve been beauty just looked like danger now. A danger so grave it had forced him to just about die in the suit that was meant to protect him. A danger that only produced dangerous things.

He needed to get out of here.

So that was what he did.

* * *

 

“Are you okay?”

Tony was still coming down from his panic attack, but he was in the last stages. His body weak, eyes still wet with tears. He managed a nod, but didn’t trust his voice.

Jim had followed him as he’d rushed out of the Bridge and had stayed with him as he’d panicked in his room. That man had seen the absolute worst parts of him and they hadn’t even known each other for a week. Tony reckoned that couldn’t have been avoided in such a confined space (not to say the Enterprise wasn’t gigantic), but he remembered how long it had taken his teammates to realize he’d been falling apart back when they were all living under the same roof. Maybe the difference was that Tony was actually seeking out the company and comfort now. Would probably go crazy if he didn’t.

He had no one else, after all.

“Anyone would panic in your position,” Jim was saying. “You know Bones? He threw up on me the first day we met because he was terrified of flying.”

Tony forced out a sound akin to a laugh. “Why is he a space doctor then?”

“He had nothing else. A nasty divorce made him feel as if Earth wasn’t his to roam anymore.”

“Wait.” Tony sat up more properly on the couch. “Earth? You’ve still got an Earth?”

“Well, yeah.”

Tony blinked. “Huh. I thought maybe you’d found a new planet. We weren’t exactly taking care of it back then.”

“Fortunately humans got their shit together.”

Tony smiled then, a genuine one. “You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that.”

Jim adjusted his position, a nervousness flickering across his face. “I wanted to talk to you about that. About Earth, I mean. But maybe this is not the right time.”

“On the contrary, now is the best time, since I’m both too exhausted to flee uncomfortable questions  _and_ to panic again. I hope.”

Jim barked out a laugh. “Right. Well, I was just wondering what you want to do. I cannot expect you to want to roam around space with us forever, especially after- well, you know. I know it’s a lot to ask right now, so please feel free to not answer immediately, but I figured I could at least let you know your options.”

Tony’s heart was hammering against his chest, but he really was too exhausted to panic at the prospect of a future in the future. “All right, shoot.”

“Unfortunately you would have to do a lot of training in order to stay here, and I think we’d be forced to drop you off at Starfleet first either way. So I guess you could either take classes at the Academy. That’s sort of like college. You can pick your program and all that jazz. And then you can work for Starfleet somehow.”

Tony hummed. He tried not to let the idea of having to go back to school hurt his pride. “What other options do I have?”

“I’m not too sure. I think you need to meet certain people down on Earth.”

“So either way I’ll have to return to Earth.”

“If we’re gonna follow policy, then yes.”

The thought of returning to an Earth that wasn’t really the one he’d left overwhelmed him, but he knew he couldn’t stay up here forever. “So let’s go to Earth.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony starts working with Scotty and then spends some more time with Jim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Life came in the way (most recently my dog's sudden passing - rest in peace, Cavalli, my angel), but I hope you'll enjoy this nevertheless!
> 
> Warnings: Vague hints at PTSD, nightmares.

Tony was in space, drowning in golden stardust and he couldn’t move his limbs. It was cold enough for his breath to turn to ice, never even leaving his body, but clinging onto his tongue and lower lip and blocking his airway. He wasn’t in his suit. Why wasn’t he in his suit?

He was well aware that you couldn’t fall in space, but he was, and the ice in his mouth was preventing him from calling for help. Falling, falling into an oblivion, the darkness closing in on him and his bare skin. Killing him slowly.

Tony woke up sweaty, heart hammering against his chest as he gasped for air. Still in space, but much much safer. It was crazy how quickly he’d adjusted to waking up here, in a bed that was much smaller than the one he’d used in his own time, but way too big for him now. He swallowed thickly and rolled over onto his back, blinking up at the ceiling. I had just been a dream. A bad dream, that’s all.

He pressed his palms against his eyes, refusing to remember where the source material of the dream had come from. He didn’t manage to fall asleep again that night.

* * *

 

It would take them over a month to get to Earth, but Jim wasn’t stupid enough to think Tony would just sit on his ass the entire time.

“Scotty is delighted to be working with you,” Jim was saying as they made their way to the engine room. “And remember, if you have any questions don’t hesitate in asking him. He’s aware of the fact that you’ve been asleep for the past 200 years.”

Tony nodded wordlessly. Truth be told he’d never had much trouble asking questions, he’d just had trouble finding anything to ask questions  _about_. This would be a refreshing change.

Scotty was waiting for them by the door, somehow looking eager and serious at the same time. “Remember, I’m the boss down here. I’m not letting you mess with my baby without my permission, got it?”

Tony mock saluted him. “Got it.”

Scotty tossed him a red shirt. “Wear this. You’re one of us now.”

“Take it easy on him,” Tony heard Jim mumble as he walked away to get changed. He didn’t hear Scotty’s reply.

It turned out that while lots of things were different they weren’t so different that Tony couldn’t understand how they worked. It was obvious that it had been a natural and subtle transition throughout the years, and so Scotty only needed to show him a couple of things before he got to work, fixing everything that needed to be fixed and brainstorming ideas for improvements. He realized that he couldn’t do anything to shorten the trip, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to anyway. He was getting used to the Enterprise, and the idea of being dropped off on Earth alone terrified him.

He was really fucking sick of being terrified all the time.

“You can take a break to eat lunch if you want,” Scotty said, appearing at his side out of nowhere. “It’s important to recharge, and that coffee will only get you so far.”

Tony wasn’t used to working with other people in the room and suddenly felt self conscious over how many cups he’d already consumed. “Lunch. Yeah, good idea.”

They walked toward the cafeteria together, finding that a bunch of people were already there. Tony spotted Jim easily. He was surrounded by people that Tony recognized, but couldn’t remember all the names of. God, he felt like a middle grader.

He hesitated, a tray in his hands, but fortunately Scotty dragged him with him to the end of the table.

Jim practically beamed at him as they sat. “How did it go?”

“He’s a fast learner, that’s for sure,” Scotty said, and Tony had to hold back a satisfied smile. Better not let these people think he was cocky.

“That’s good!” Jim said enthusiastically. “You’re doing good.”

Tony had no idea why he was suddenly blushing, but he ducked his head in order to devour his food with the hopes that no one would notice. He’d only taken three bites before Jim addressed him again.

“You think you can handle the month-long journey? If I were you I’d be itching to get to Earth.”

Tony wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Yeah, well, it won’t really be my Earth.” Every single face at the table fell, horrified at the realization. Tony scrambled to continue. “I’m sure I’ll be fascinated by all the changes. I mean, I’m in the future! Any scientist would kill for this opportunity.”

_Even if it meant losing everyone you once loved_ , he didn’t add.

Jim rubbed the back of his neck, and in the middle of it all Tony managed to briefly find him adorable. Briefly. “That’s a good attitude.”

Tony shrugged. He didn’t really have a choice, and none of them needed to know about the nightmares or sleepless nights. It was better if they didn’t.

Lunch ended way too quickly, and the table slowly but surely started emptying until only he and Jim were left. Even Scotty had gotten up to go back to the engine room, but he hadn’t asked Tony to come, and so Tony hadn’t. He caught Jim’s eye, both of them still sitting on opposite ends of the table. Jim smiled at him, and Tony found it easy to grin back. He didn’t know what it was, but he rarely faked the smiles when it came to Jim.

“You wanna have a drink tonight?” Jim asked, and Tony nodded.

“Lord knows I need it.”

Jim barked out a laugh. “I hear you.”

Tony tilted his head at him, suddenly realizing just how tired the Captain looked. “You okay?”

Jim shook his head. “You wake up 200 years into the future and ask if I’m okay?”

“I’m fluent in barely-keeping-it-together, and I’d recognize that expression anywhere.”

“It’s been a rough couple of months, that’s all.”

Tony hummed. “Guess I’ll wait until you spill your heart out when you’re two drinks in.”

Jim’s mouth twitched. “I might cry.”

“I don’t mind a cryer.”

“Please remember that when I’m sobbing all over you.”

They laughed, but Tony had a feeling that, even if Jim might not cry, Tony was definitely one bad day away from never not falling apart.

* * *

 

Tony was sent home before dinner, resulting in him spending the unexpected free hours being a restless mess. He’d never had to deal with work hours ending, and he was sure Scotty wouldn’t have minded if he’d stayed had Jim not told him to take it easy on him. Dammit, Jim. He’d get a piece of Tony’s mind later, all right.

He took a long shower, relishing in feeling the sweat and grime leaving his pores. The results of a day filled with hard work. Whatever he’d thought the future would look like, he was glad they still had normal showers. Imagine just stepping into some sort of cylinder and stepping out completely clean a second later? Where the hell else would humans have time to have both an existential crisis and a concert without being judged?

He wrapped a towel around his torso once he finally re-entered the now much colder air, checking the time and finding that he still had about half an hour before they started serving dinner. He didn’t actually know when Jim would take his meal, since it was different each day, and sometimes he even took it in his room if he’d had a particularly long day. Tony reminded himself that they would meet later anyway, and that it wasn’t a big deal if they didn’t sit together in the cafeteria.

Maybe Tony needed to stop pinning all his desperation and loneliness on that man.

Bones had suggested therapy as soon as Tony had calmed down, of course, but Tony had refused. Why, he wasn’t sure. Surely it wouldn’t do more damage than simply existing did. Had he been seeing a therapist they would probably tell him that his obsession with Jim was unhealthy and would only end in disaster, and maybe that was true, but it was his one good thing, and the more days passed he felt more and more drawn to him. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe it didn’t have anything to do with coping mechanisms, but Jim hadn’t tried to get rid of him yet, and besides - he would leave Tony on Earth in about a month and take off and they’d probably never see each other again.

Tony could handle one more loss.

Couldn’t he?

A knock brought him out of his head; a place he rarely wanted to spend time in lately. He’d been sitting on his bed, most likely for longer than he’d realized, all but glaring a hole onto the wall. He still hadn’t gotten dressed, so he readjusted the towel and went to open the door.

“Oh, sorry,” Jim said when he took in his appearance. “Did I interrupt?”

“No, no, I was just about to get dressed,” Tony said, which wasn’t  _technically_ a lie. “Come in if you want.”

“I was just gonna ask if you want me to grab us dinner to have in here? We could drink during the meal and stuff.”

“That’s probably the best idea I’ve heard all day.”

Jim grinned. “Good! I’ll be right back, and you better be dressed by the time I return.”

“Well, that’s the first time someone has told me that.”

“I’m not surprised,” Jim said and disappeared before Tony had time to process his words. Maybe it was all in Tony’s head, but he had a feeling Jim was blushing as he sprinted away.

They ended up devouring their food and playing chess while nursing their drinks, partly because Tony was so amazed by this futuristic version of the game that he refused to let either of them drink enough to get tipsy before they’d finished at least one game. Jim beat him big time, but Tony was too fascinated by it to be a sore loser.

“It never even crossed my mind that  _games_ of all things would change in the future,” he was saying. “Makes me wonder what things have changed that I’m just not aware of.”

“You could ask me,” Jim said, visibly amused by his enthusiasm.

“True, but there are  _too many options_.”

“Pick the first things that come to mind.”

“Do you guys still have cigarettes?”

“We do, but I don’t think they’re the same as the ones you guys had. They don’t hurt your health anymore and are simply used to relax.”

“Do you still have amusement parks?”

“We do.”

“Let me guess. The rides probably fly or some shit.”

“Some of them do.”

“You still have clubs and bars?”

“Of course.”

“Are they in the air?”

“That depends on what planet you’re on, but the ones on Earth are very much on Earth.”

“You still do one night stands or is it against the law?”

Jim laughed, maybe a little too much. “Of course it’s not against the law!”

“What do I know? One of these days you’ll tell me facial hair is illegal. Not a  _single one_  of you even have stubble.”

Jim leaned forward, eyes glittering. “Feel my cheek.”

Tony didn’t even question it. “It’s completely smooth.”

“We have ways to keep us from shaving for up till two weeks.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “And that’s why you all have baby faces? Once you shave you can’t change your mind.”

“At least not for a week or so. I shaved two days ago.”

“Interesting- wait, you’re fucking with me.”

“I am.” Jim leaned back again, looking sheepish. “Sorry, couldn’t help it.”

“Wow. You do know that I rely on you to inform me of everything going on around here, right?” Tony wasn’t mad, of course, and even if he’d wanted Jim to believe he was, the helpless smile on his face was too obvious to be overlooked.

“We shave every morning like your generation probably did,” Jim said. “Right now it’s pretty trendy to not have even so much as stubble, so that’s probably why we all look so clean-shaven.”

“You guys still have trends.”

“Every era will have trends.”

Tony downed his drink, finally, but didn’t ask for a refill just yet. “Back in my days there was a brief period where men had long hair and put it up in a bun, and because gender obviously matters we couldn’t just call it a regular bun. No. We had to dub it a manbun.”

Jim shook his head. “That’s-”

“Pathetic? Yeah, I know.” An image of Bucky Barnes with his hair in a bun flashed by, but Tony shook it off.

“Tell me more trends,” Jim said, reaching for his glass. “You’ll catch up on ours eventually, but I hearing about past ones from a reliable source is gold.”

“There was this app where you posted six second long videos and people kept referencing the more popular ones. It was honestly so fascinating that I was almost sad that I was slightly too old to be able to do it myself without seeming desperate.”

Jim looked amazed at the simple notion of Vine. It felt nice to be the one to be gaped at for once. “Tell me more.”

Tony laughed. “Didn’t know you’d be getting off on these things.”

Jim spluttered. “Shut up. I’m just interested, s’all.”

“I thought you were gonna be the one to talk tonight.”

“Nuh uh. Not enough booze in my system.”

Tony reached for the bottle and refilled both their glasses. “Let’s hurry up then.”

Jim grinned. “Why the rush? We’ve got all night, after all.”

Tony didn’t tell him that every night was a battle between him being exhausted and him being terrified to sleep. Maybe spending the quiet hours being anything  _but_ quiet would be a good change.

“All right, I give.” Tony pushed his glass away. “Let’s make the most of the hours.”

How the night ended with them kissing and Jim running away was a whole other story.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://thesoundofnat.tumblr.com/).


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